==> BEGIN ADVENTURE
[oh!! my apologies to our new followers—as i said the other day, there’s not going to be updates here in the forseeable future, since we’re working on other stuff and trying to retool this adventure to be more workable, but if you don’t mind some self-promotion…. we’d love for you to take a look at the other adventure/ask blog we’ve just started up over here! hopefully getting a new project rolling will get us on track with all our AUs, so sorry again, and thanks for following! —brett]
16th March 2012
This other asshole, luckily for you, has always been pretty alright despite being a SLOBBERING SHRIEKING BABYCHILD and also having no good reason to put up with your GROSS MUTATIONS (mind-, body-, and existence-wise alike). You guess that’s pretty nice of him. So far you haven’t encountered anyone else so THOROUGHLY DEDICATED to accompanying someone down the spiral that is the flushing of life’s toilet/load gaper/waste disapparater/whatever the fuck someone of your background is supposed to call it.
Maybe it would be cool if you started ironically using the old-fashioned words for things, like one of those nasty fundamentalist NEW ALTERNIANS. Like reclaiming slurs, or rap music in iambic pentameter.
Jesus grubfucking christ, that is the stupidest thought you have ever had. This is top of the charts in an entire existence of festering shitboils of sloppy words and delusional ideas and oh for fuck’s sake you hate how sometimes you talk to yourself the way KK talks about bad TV commercials.
[as you may have seen me talking about on my main blog, there are some finished pages to this adventure that for whatever reason were not posted when they were first done! i’m going to post them now, just to get everything up on the blog, but this does not mean the adventure is continuing, sadly! we are busy with life stuff and some other projects, and also, all the art seen here was drawn with a mouse (can you believe it!!! daaang, scri is great) in a program ey hates before ey had a tablet, so when we DO continue, there’s going to be a pretty big art shift. we’ve been sparing time/brainpower when we can to try to figure out how to restructure this story, since we have a loooooot planned (the story does, in fact, span all three years of karkat’s high school experience, and includes both romantic drama and in-depth schoolwork) but are not sure how to arrange things and, most importantly, get to the exciting parts as quickly as possible. so—look forward to that, when it does come, and in the meantime have a bit of sollux and casual worldbuilding to hopefully recapture your interest for a bit. thanks for reading!! —brett]
Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR and you are crashing at your best friend’s place AGAIN because you are a FUCKING DEADBEAT wow how does anyone handle you. It would be sort of alright if, say, he spent half the time at your place the way you spend half the time at his, but you have this thing you do where you don’t let anyone into your house. Or into your life in general. The idea of people interacting with your DUMBSHIT LUSUS is honestly REALLY FUCKING EMBARRASSING, as is the idea of people knowing you’re ashamed of him, or really knowing about any of your DUMBSHIT EMOTIONS.
Notes: 1
He really just did that. He does shit like that a lot.
THANKS A LOT, DOUCHEHOARDER. THANK YOU FOR THANKING ME FOR MY GENEROUSNESS AND SUPPORT BY BREAKING MY SHIT. YOU ARE TRULY THE BEST FRIEND I HAVE EVER HAD. HA HA.
THE JOKE HERE IS THAT I’M SAYING THESE THINGS BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT FUCKING TRUE.
eheh youre welcome kk.
DO YOU PLAN ON BREAKING ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS REBELLION AGAINST WAKEFULNESS? I WILL TRY NOT TO ANGER THE LOW BLOOD PRESSURE EVIL LORD FURTHER.
that ii2 a really 2tupiid thiing two 2ay.
SHUT UP.
…SO WAS THE THRASHING FOR A PARTICULAR REASON OR DO YOU GET OFF ON BEING A MASSIVE PAIN IN THE ASS?
iif youre tryiing two a2k iif ii had a niightmare then yeah ii diid.
OH.
iit wa2 that recurriing one.
…OH.
the one where my be2t friiend ii2 a 2appy iidiiot fiilled wiith impotent rage who’2 alway2 iin the miiddle of 2ome tragedy and iit make2 me nau2eou2.
oh waiit that2 real liife.
oh my fuckiing god kk turn your fuckiing alarm off or ii’ll make iit permanent ii 2wear.
OH GOOD, YOU’RE AWAKE FINALLY. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. DID YOU SLEEP SOUNDLY THROUGH NEARLY KICKING ME OUT OF MY OWN FUCKING BED? OR WAS IT MEANT AS A HILARIOUS PRANK?
iif youre goiing two giive me 2hiit about that every tiime ii 2leep iin your bed why dont you ju2t put me on the floor to 2tart wiith.
and wiill you PLEA2E turn off the alarm.
YOU’RE CLOSER TO IT. DO IT YOURSELF, I’M BUSY.
fiine.
What? No! This has nothing to do with your BLOOD. You’re pretty sure there is no conceivable color that could be considered “mutant,” at least not on this planet. Mutant blood? What the fuck does that even mean? Is it made of GLITTER AND RAINBOWS or something? Ugh. Being in the red zone is a PRETTY SHITTY HAND TO BE DEALT as it is, seeing as HIGHBLOODS and PURE HUMANS alike are total DICKWADS about it, but no.
No, your secret is far more damaging and insidious than any BLOOD DEFORMITY could ever be. If anyone ever found out, your life would be COMPLETELY RUINED. You would never hear the end of it. Letting this secret out would result in TOTALLY LITERAL TORTURE you are not even kidding.
You once told your best friend that he was like a beautiful tragic movie to you in one of your secret moments together, late at night. This is incredibly romantic and you would be proud of yourself but you said it to SOLLUX CAPTOR who you have known since GRUB SCHOOL and who happens to be FUCKING GROSS. By logical extension, you too are now FUCKING GROSS and everyone is going to smell it on you like a WILD LUSUS can smell a TRASH CAN FULL OF HAMBURGERS AND DOG POOP from miles away.
And as if it weren’t enough for you to be a finely-tuned COMPLETE SOCIAL DISASTER, you are burdened with a SECRET. For your whole seven sweeps-slash-fifteen years of existence, you have borne the weight of ONE HORRIFIC FACT about your very TROLLHOOD.
